ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
