walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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