Your mouth is God's brothel.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
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I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
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I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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