I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
