used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
