clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
