Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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