I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
