My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
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Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
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She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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