Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
