sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
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