I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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