My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
