It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
