Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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