At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
