You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Bring me that man meat
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
