I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize