WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
