5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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