I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
