She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize