dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
