Umm I'm too high to move.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
