suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
