Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
