He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
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he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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