I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
