I hate your face
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
