If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
