aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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