So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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