I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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