idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
