Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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