no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Randomize