i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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