We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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