She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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