My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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