How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize