Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
