evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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