this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
