We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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