I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
