It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
