Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
bring money and cleavage
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
