When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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