You're a womanizer and a bitch.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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