You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
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i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
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Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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