We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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