69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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