He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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