1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
