I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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