She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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