I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
