you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize