you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
