And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
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Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
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by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
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