put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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