Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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